I told myself once: never, never plan to do anything while traveling with expectations to accomplish it. Every expectation coming from the easiness of some activity during the regular life – like reading books, responding to emails, working, exercising – can be broken. Traveling is a different level of energy, where these things appear not to fit, but many other things can be totally reasonable, like walking for nine hours straight, falling asleep totally exhausted and waking up without an alarm clock after four to six hours of sleep, meeting and connecting deeply with dozens of new people. And not just one time, multiple times.
And still, I expected to be able to write about WDS as soon as it would finish. In fact, I actually got down to writing on Sunday evening right after the summit officially ended, and drafted about one-third of the post… But then Monday came, and very different feelings came with it. People were leaving, the excitement and the energy were leaving with them, the city was losing a big part of its magic… I started to think about the next leg of my trip, looked at my options and became very disappointed with the way things were, so it was inappropriate to return and finish the draft that day. And then, life moved on and traveling took its turn. New paths, new discoveries, new attractions. A couple of days later, I worked a bit more on the post. I selected some good photos I took during WDS, and drafted another third of the post. But I did not finish, and I am still not sure when (and whether) I will. Time goes by, new events, things, thoughts, and ideas come up. They are here and now, thus they are more relevant than an event that has passed a while ago… I decide not to be attached to any outcome. Maybe I will write about the big weekend and the days before and after it in Portland, Oregon, maybe it will just fade away for me until next year (I intend to be a part of WDS 2014).
For now, I would like to give credit to the period of my life enclosing the WDS – the trip to the United States of America as a whole – that has just finished.
I have been feeling like I was living in a dream. Everything was much more intense and exciting than it had been before. Honestly, I don’t want to wake up from that dream now. It feels so good to hold onto that vibe. I think “reality” tries to show me that it’s back, with all the upcoming chores, routines, work and so on. I give very little attention to it.
My friend wrote me something about returning to pre-WDS life… but for me there is no way to return. I have been transformed by WDS, by the whole experience of the trip. I have reached a new level of living the life, and I would like to stay here. See the world around me, see the people, make new connections and friends, challenge the way things are done and the way I do things myself, go out of my comfort zone, ask for the things I want and share my love to the fullest despite fears of being rejected. Have something new and exciting in every day, appreciate each day for being a new one, and not settle for days to repeat the previous ones. Follow my dreams, listen to my heart, be open to signs and omens. Live my Legend, because this is the only thing that gives meaning to anything and to everything. Be myself, be open, tell the truth, put in the effort, love and myself into the true work of my life.
Everything is so uncertain, terribly uncertain. I cannot be sure if I will succeed in all or any of these things. I probably will fail at some or even most of them at first. But what the last two weeks have shown me – and WDS played a special role in it – is that the life I dreamed of is possible. It is unconventional, and it is different from the life most of the people around me live, but it is possible. There are other people in the world who are as crazy as me, if not crazier :) And these people are open to help me, to give me their support, to stand behind me when necessary. Because, as the saying goes, the world needs more people to come alive. And we understand it.
I intend to do the best I can. They say, the failure comes only when a person gives up. An unsuccessful outcome is not an end, it bears just another lesson to be learned, it is just another step to the desired success. Persist and never give up. I believe I can do it. And for that matter, I won’t listen anymore to the people who say that it is unrealistic or impossible for me to live my dreams. It is possible. I know that now.
If you don’t believe in me, goodbye, enjoy your lives as you have them. I have no other way to go.
It is written.